So where to start... well, my last post was shortly before my birthday. The weekend after that post, my family threw my brother and I a surprise birthday party at my parents' house. It was awesome. I had no idea, they put it all together for after Jake's first birthday. Mandy, Brian, and Kapeka did all the set up while the rest of us were still at the church. And Andrew and I were both really surprised.
I have to say, that was the best birthday I've ever had. It was just Andrew, me, George, Kris, Jess, Mandy, Brian, and Kapeka and we all hung out in the basement. Mandy and Brian brought some of their equipment and basically turned my parents' basement into a club. I have to say, my family parties better than most of my friends! And it was totally perfect. I had all the people I wanted there to help me celebrate.
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| Self timer photo. Not the greatest, but we managed to get everyone in it. |
The rest of that week is honestly kind of a blur. I went out with different friends several times that week for my birthday, plus Thanksgiving. It was an excellent birthday week though, that's for sure. After that I was just bogged down with school. It was the end of my last semester of college, and I had a lot going on. Especially with that and work and holiday preparations. But I managed to get through all of it and graduate.
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| Because some of my siblings are just buttheads sometimes. I love them anyway. |
So I graduated and all that good stuff. Christmas was awesome. I actually stayed at my parents' house Christmas Eve. This was the first year I haven't lived there, and it just felt weird. Plus, not that I don't love Sarah and everything, but she had her own Christmas plans with Randy and her family, and I didn't really want to be waking up alone on Christmas. And I wanted to watch the babies open their gifts. :)
The week between Christmas and New Year's was basically spent at work, to be honest. And then on top of that, I got sick two days before NYE. I had already spent money on a ticket to an event in Pittsburgh with a couple of friends, so I went even though I was sick and semi-miserable. I had a good time, but I would have had a better time if I hadn't been sick. As a matter of fact, here it is a couple of days later and I'm still sick (which is why I can't sleep). I have no voice, and it feels like someone is sitting on my chest when I try to breathe. I cough a lot. You know, the usual for me when I get sick. Monday was my only day off this week and I had a lot I wanted to do, but I woke up feeling so terrible that I had to just have a sick day and relax. I did nothing but sleep and lay on the couch and watch random TV with Sarah. I really needed it. Besides, it was a snowy, crappy day out anyway. It's not like I missed much. We even ordered pizza so that neither of us had to cook or anything, haha.
And now to the New Year's part of this business.
Resolution time.
1. Let go of the past.
There are people in my life that do not need to be there. They are people who don't necessarily mean me harm, but they do damage to me emotionally that I don't need. They are people who I have had good relationships with in the past that fell apart and I have just been reluctant to let go. So I'm letting go. The people who can't/won't care about me and love me for me are gone. I can't waste my energy and my love on them anymore because there are people who are much more deserving.
2. Lose 50 pounds.
50 is a big number. But it's also necessary. Especially in the last couple of months, I've gained more weight. I'm not happy with myself. I hate the way my clothes fit, I hate the way I look. It is taking a serious toll on my self esteem. I don't want to be so unhappy with myself anymore. And I know that I'm never going to be a size 2, or even a 4 probably. I'm not built that way. I'm built to be curvy, and that's fine. I like that. But I know that I'm overweight and unhealthy. So that needs to change. My eating habits aren't bad, it's mostly my lack of exercise. So I'm going to go back to the YMCA and start forcing myself to go. I don't have the "too busy" excuse anymore because I'm no longer in school. If everyone else with a full time job can manage to go to the gym, so can I.
3. Find a "big girl" job.
Maybe that isn't the correct term, but I don't care. I graduated. I don't want all my work to go to waste. So its time to go on a job hunt. I gave myself until after the holidays to enjoy my freedom and bask in the success and all. Now it's time to get down to business. I want a stable job with a good salary. Benefits. I want to be able to save money for a down payment on a new car or a house or whatever the hell else I feel like saving for. I want a place of my own. Not that I don't love Sarah or anything, but I want my own little apartment or house or whatever. And finding a better job is the first step to that. I have a good, polished draft of my resume that can be tailored to different positions, as well as a cover letter that I can do the same with. It's just a matter of getting myself out there.
4. Be more organized.
This isn't just about keeping my room clean or keeping things in a place where I can remember, etc. This is about in general. I want to have a more regimented schedule. I think that will be key to me sticking to the gym. I want to sleep and night and be awake during the day instead of sleeping until early afternoon and being awake until 5 AM. I want to have a set schedule at work so that I can plan my days and know what I need to accomplish in a particular time frame, etc. The clean room and organization of belongings falls in there too, believe me. But there's the rest of it too.
So there we go. My resolutions for the year. There are other small things in there too, I'm sure. But these are the big ones. I've been unhappy with myself, especially the last few months. This is the chance for a clean slate and a chance to be the person I know that I can be proud of.
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